No Love Lost

Love sows bitter seeds, in this, My infertile heart… I reap a poor harvest, And I starve my longing soul; Dining out on coffee grounds – On the acrid taste of stale romance I am not brave enough for love; The courage of a lion does not lie here, Not in these sorry veins… When tender arms surround me, And a soft voice murmurs lullabies, Then the panic rises – Rears its ugly black head, and strikes And, coward that I am, I run… I run far away, into myself, Into the black labyrinth of my twisted mind Inside those hallowed halls I am safe; And you - The man with the sapphire eyes – You cannot find me here In this darkness I cower, Sheltered by a cloak of fine-spun Self deception You may hammer on the doors, You may call my name – May carve your spells in my rocky eyes… But I will still be blind; And I will still hide Until you turn away in despair, Admit defeat, and leave no trace behind – Nothing but the memory, The sweet memory, of those haunting eyes Those cerulean diamonds that enchant me so – And the echo of your voice in my head will tease, Will torment, until I fall to my knees, Bang my frail skull against the walls of my tomb, And curse myself for a fool For condemning myself to this solitary gloom