No Longer Fit For Work
No more faxes, no more phones
No more “It’s too early” moans
No commuting, shouting, tooting
No more shirts & ties & suiting
No service station breaks and bites
No toilet queues and car park fights
No CRUISE control or heated seats
No glovebox filled with fuel receipts
No more hotel revolving doors
No concierge, no polished floors
No battered cases, weary faces
Sleepless nights in far-off places
No bacon fat, no butter pat
No “Why have I been charged for that?”
No checking out or checking in
Or moans about the room you’re in
No ‘silly hours’ airport dash
No feeling for your foreign cash
No passport checks, departure times,
No Coke machines that don’t take dimes
No drinks or pastes, no sprays or gel
Lens solution? - banned as well
No plastic meals or plastic smiles
To carry you across the miles
No luggage queues, no business shoes
No funny, foreign, TV news
No laws by which you must abide
No driving on the other side
No local customs, scraping, bowing
Baffling greetings and kowtowing
No horrid coffees, tepid teas
No pidgin English; ‘Thank you, please’
Meetings, musings, tariff choosings
Hushed asides, so oft confusing
Remembering their children’s names
Tax returns, expenses claims
You’ve toed the line your whole life through
But future plans are up to you
Bin the laptop, scrap the email
Make time for your favourite female
Copyright © Bill Lindsay | Year Posted 2015
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