No Happy Ending

Bright lights, big city... bright lights, big city dreams... please just take me away tonight Let me rest on your elegance tonight I have no energy left to spend in reality so please knock me unconscious just to be in the place that makes me... I wanted to sing so loudly, proudly of a heroine put aside a feeling of haste, of hate of Juliet turned Medusa now my Medusa Juliet turning Rapunzel Strange it may seem, I'll explain a different day something betters my attention begs my words to form a letter Veronica...once my Veronica in this play, in this scene we were able to make amends, stay friends 20, we are both 20 Life is confusing all these convoluted schemes it throws our way How are we supposed to seize the day how about she seized me instead A story, a flashback inside another story remember 'If Your Reflection Could Kill' a memoir asking questions and banishing Juliet from my life if only for a while I just wanted answers but she fled away from what she believed to be cancer though it gave a chance for Veronica and I to be consistently happy but there is no happy for me We hit a cosmic rift, a cosmic shift a month after a daringly rushed proposal someone got lost, got scared, turned ghost, just shutdown completely Months go by and we reconciled you'd think there'd be a happy ending in silver lining yet a month maybe three weeks from present day arrives Juliet atop her steed of do-overs and repeats a fresh start I didn't buy a single word I don't subscribe to politics but I know how hers works still I couldn't banish her again I couldn't, I can't Myself, I've been running away pointing if only an ounce of blame her way knowing full well I fell in love with the girl for three years who was just words across a screen a voice from a phone I only dreamed of who she could be now I know and in her eyes I still felt that same bitter love I wanted to keep 4 years back so Juliet wanted my audience my ears and my eyes to acknowledge she was finally here to stay here to play no games I had no good reason to deny so my answer was obvious but Veronica, she caught wind of this and there went my attempt to gain back what time has torn apart Veronica, she tore down my walls so she knew I could hear her scream with disdain, curse my name What was she angry for an entire year, she tried to see my face again an entire year, I had a list of excuses to keep her at bay It was never because I didn't trust myself it was all because I couldn't dare stare in the face someone of importance knowing it was me that once dared to keep a promised and succeeded in the quickest time to break her and it making her cry What made her angry She believed I chose Juliet over her and I tried to defend myself with armed words justified explanations but I had no explanation to give I was unarmed in these verbal fights I didn't know what was right what to say that day changed everything Juliet took Veronica's place as the conversationalist, the smiling heroine as the one I could compliment the one I could make happy the one I could just be me Veronica, she just spent two weeks taking jab after jab at Juliet taking jab after jab at me...till yesterday a bad day turned nightmare when I unbottled truth built up for weeks I confessed my reasons, my seasons why she hasn't seen my face, a long list of apologies so the weight of my shoulders would leave so she would know, so we could grow as like me, you would hope for a naive understanding response as like me, you would hope for a silver lining hope she'd understand but I know all too well there is no happy ending for me The deities all laugh at my scorn never happy till they see me destroyed never satisfied till they, in awe, watch me weep Veronica, I think I may have lost a friend in Veronica I called it fate, I called it destiny since she made it all to be my fault that I'm a liar when she knows full well I just want everyone in the world who steps in my universe to be happy Forgive me for my selfish desire but it's true I may now talk about myself too much but it doesn't compare to how much I cared about her or want her to be happy Oh no She pressed the button, she pressed the button Did she really say that she doesn't know who I am did she really say that I'm not her old sweet best friend does she really have the right to say anything? ! She left me behind! When we were kids, she left me behind for the religious remarks of my cousin tore her apart She could've came back at anytime She left me behind For years, I waited for her return with baited breath though each time she came back once to tell me at 2 in the morning that she got lucky once to accompany me through my second tour of Juliet as freaking spectator she left and never said anything else If it wasn't for a mutual friend she would've never talked to me again! She left me behind! She wasn't there when I needed her the most when I needed a friend the most but that doesn't matter no cause oh I'm a liar cause I have a selfish desire to be miserable while I want the whole world who steps into my universe to be happy All these words I never said to her, to Veronica I just sat defenseless, sat stunned, sat fed up, sat done tried to defend myself again but there's nothing to defend told her good night, good life hope to talk again but if she was done with me, tell me so cause I'd rather not spend another night getting cussed out, getting yelled at trying to muster up a defense case for something I do that doesn't directly effect her but in her eyes this friendship isn't worth it I'm not worth it freaking perfect... Bright lights...big city... just take me far away from here give me amnesia or just omit her from my memory I'm sick of this of everything inadvertently being the fault of me Are you happy deities? ? ! Are you happy? There is no happy ending for me