Nightmare

Off to bed with no love in my head, of all the places my saviour should be, out, with her mother is not it. She should be here, to protect from neglect. When the teeth snapped and the belt came off, where were you? I was four, or five, you should be here, by my side, not out drinking, not out not thinking about my tanned hide. I was only playing, laughing at most. Then down it came with a crack, a stunning numbness shook my five year old core. There stood the beast, eyes furrowed, frowned. I jump, he's faster, i'm pinned, i'm down. Through clenched, gritted, spitted teeth "why won't YOU go to sleep?" But... ...where is my story, my bath, my hug? Why is it cigarettes and whiskey you love? Where is my saviour, she does not exist. Roles are reversed when you are at work, Through gritted, pitted, smoke stained teeth she growls. And I cry for you, as I cried for her...