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Nightfall

I feel something’s close at hand…it’s hard to unchain myself
From angst and utter mortification
I feel so lost, swimming on my own…it’s hard to find my way out of this mess
I feel like giving up…but I should get up…

I feel myself drifting away…each shard of my brain
Withers away…just like the day getting devoured by nightfall  
I feel drenched in silence…I don’t know if I’m going insane
I feel like drowning in my shame...But, I’m searching for the rope of hope 
I must keep trying…
It’s about time I put a stop to my senseless crying

But, I feel that I’m left to figure my way out of the bemusing maze…but that’s not true
Because He is with me...day and night
‘cause He is watching over me…
Dousing me with His light…
Sometimes, I feel so afraid…but I know a few things that are true:

He can mend a broken spirit and a broken heart
	
He can give me relief and hope from high above…

He can lead me somewhere safe and save me from the death cart

And save my heart from breaking into shards

I’m drowning in tears of sorrow and shame…
I’m a wandering sheep…getting hunted down like game…

I feel stuck in the chambers of my own mind…it’s tough to unchain myself
From solitude, but I must snap out of my agitation  
I still feel like I’ve met my end…around the river bend…I’m left untouched on the shelf 
I feel like swimming out of the perilous sea…whirling with confusion  

I’m washing away into the abstract, dynamic ocean…each piece of my heart
Is casted away…just like the stone I tossed, skipping to and fro on the river’s surface 
I fly away from my solitude cage…I promise I won’t break apart…I’ll take heart  
I will escape my misery…though I’ve doubted my ability to take wing…but I must keep trying…

I will try to believe and go the distance…	
Despite the bizarre sensations I feel…

Copyright © J.W. Earnings | Year Posted 2013

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Duke Beaufort Date: 7/13/2013 1:06:00 PM Feelings are complex and you have them all. I guess there is no one pure feeling that we can have. There is always good with the bad and we have to deal with all of it. You are definitely alive and well. A pleasure to read your work because you are so honest. Login to Reply

Donna Jones Date: 7/9/2013 7:13:00 PM Wow David !!!! You write so effortlessly. This was very enjoyable to read...it felt as though you could have just continued... Login to Reply J.W. Earnings Date: 7/9/2013 8:03:00 PM I wrote that yesterday night...it was a bit of a challenge for me..this poem, but I overcame the challenge with God's help and I'm in good hands. I hope your sister is in good hands too. I felt like continuing, but I couldn't think of anything else to write. Sorry...maybe I'll make a second part to this. Mayybe. :)

Kim Van Breda Date: 7/9/2013 8:54:00 AM This is a brilliant poem-- I love the way you move from the positive to negative in your expressions of emotion. Everything seems more intense at night, but as you say.. we have the saving grace of or Savior. Login to Reply

Roger Hadden Date: 7/9/2013 8:32:00 AM Thank you David for the great review. I would like to develop my poem into a song yet, I am still learning the pros and cons of my writing. You have a great poem here. I loved every minute of it. Roger Dale Hadden. Login to Reply