New Years Resolution

My New Year’s resolutions I made on a cold Boxing Day Didn’t provide all the solutions They all slowly faded away. I’d go to the gym to lose weight I said with eager passion But that was only tempting fate The telly is such a distraction. I’d get a dog and walk round the park That would soon get me slim and fit We’d get up and rise with the lark And find the nearest bench to sit. But a dog I would have to feed And take it sometimes to the vet And I don’t know what type, or breed I’ll buy a bike, it’s a safer bet. But with a bike I could get run over By a truck, a bus or a car Or a farmer with tatty Land Rover I’ll stay at home, it’s safer by far. I’ll stop eating a donut or two And cut down by a gallon of beer And think of what else I can do Then put it off for another year.