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My New Year’s resolutions
I made on a cold Boxing Day
Didn’t provide all the solutions
They all slowly faded away.
I’d go to the gym to lose weight
I said with eager passion
But that was only tempting fate
The telly is such a distraction.
I’d get a dog and walk round the park
That would soon get me slim and fit
We’d get up and rise with the lark
And find the nearest bench to sit.
But a dog I would have to feed
And take it sometimes to the vet
And I don’t know what type, or breed
I’ll buy a bike, it’s a safer bet.
But with a bike I could get run over
By a truck, a bus or a car
Or a farmer with tatty Land Rover
I’ll stay at home, it’s safer by far.
I’ll stop eating a donut or two
And cut down by a gallon of beer
And think of what else I can do
Then put it off for another year.
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