New Year Sale

Special offer for forbidden fruit two for the price of one Discounted pleasure until ultimate stock clearance lasts Adam’s apples included Unisex versions available Sustainable and organic Nails and planks for the eye flat-packed easy to assemble Build your own bloody cross instructions included for free Whips for self-flagellation Strictly for over 18’s only Change water into whine Serpent skin negligees and rings for nipples and manhood See-through loin cloths for aspiring Buddhas handmade in hell Mount pleasant meets fig tree Biodegradable Lotus blossoms Kamasutra deflowering guaranteed Eider ducks in a row and Noah’s Arc for foaming bath tubs Pull the plug on solitude and play Eros full steam ahead Rubber dolls with vacuum function Touch Mahal at the press of a button Mandala and kind Karma on the spot Meanwhile Hey Judas blasts sounds through supermarket isles As encouragement for a little temptation at the bread counter Self-rising yeast and sugar watchtowers Lick away your sins until kingdom comes With crispy pretzels from Salt Lake City Nihilist colouring books on display no glossy crayons needed Agnostic wet dreams wrapped in silk brassieres and braces The end is nearer than the cashier A reaper tills luscious fields of plenty Until blinders fall under a heavy load 30th December 2019