Tom Cunningham Poet Limerick

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New Year Humour ' Bedroom Horrors'

RUFUS 

Fat boy Rufus takes a rooster to bed 
"It's my natural alarm clock" he said 
He woke late the next morning 
Now Rufus is in mourning 
Cos he rolled over and flattened him dead... 

ARTHUR AND SUE

Two newlyweds Arthur and Sue
Were doing as young couples do 
But then as their bed rocked 
They became interlocked 
And they stuck together like glue... 

FRUITY FREDDIE 

Fruity Freddie was in bed with wife Beth
Hanky panky he was hoping to get
He leant down to kiss
But gave it a miss
When he caught a whiff of her morning breath...

SOGGY JIM

Jim's bladder wasn't what it used to be 
So before bed didn't drink any tea 
He forgot one night 
And woke with a fright 
When he found himself afloat in his wee... 

OLD JOHNNY

Eighty year old Johnny ran out of steam
Now at bedtime in his eyes there's a gleam
The doc gave him pills 
That sorted his ills 
Now his wedding tackle works like a dream... 





Written 3rd January 2021

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Valsa George March 2, 2022 at 8:02 AM A wonderful series of limericks in their true sense.... humorous and bawdy ! I liked Arthur and Sue and Soggy Jim the most ! Thanks for the giggles, Tom ! Tom Cunningham March 2, 2022 at 10:01 AM Thank you very much Valsa, glad that you enjoyed the humour. Tom

Emilia James January 15, 2021 at 1:31 PM Great set of fun limericks again Tom, Hope you have been keeping well, Emilia. Tom Cunningham January 15, 2021 at 1:32 PM Thank you very much Emilia, lovely to see you, all good here hope you are too. Tom

John Watt January 12, 2021 at 10:34 PM Some fun characters and of course great subject matter! Love your limericks Tom, keep 'em coming in 2021. Enjoy your day ~ John Tom Cunningham January 13, 2021 at 2:59 AM Thank you very much John, glad you enjoyed them. Tom P S If you have time check out honeymoon Blues, jt was a collaboration.

Jennifer Proxenos January 9, 2021 at 10:12 AM LOL, LOL Tom, you are the greatest ever with Limericks - my fave is Rufus, well penned my friend. All the best for 2021 to you and your family. Blessings, Jennifer Tom Cunningham January 9, 2021 at 1:19 PM Thank you very much Jennifer, I wish you and your family the same. Tom

Janice Canerdy January 6, 2021 at 2:17 PM Oh, my, these are lively and well-written, Tom! Janice Tom Cunningham January 7, 2021 at 1:27 AM Thank you very much Janice, im pleased that you enjoyed them. Tom

Krish Radhakrishna January 6, 2021 at 5:36 AM Good ones Tom! You are a natural at Limericks! they are funny and flow so well!! great write!! stay safe and get vaccinated! Tom Cunningham January 6, 2021 at 5:47 AM Thank you very much Krish, the vaccine cant come quick enough. Our government needs to get moving on it but it seems to be u-turning instead of making a decision and sticking to it. Hope you're well stay safe. Tom

Charles Messina January 5, 2021 at 6:23 PM Always love your limericks, Tom. Thanks for the laughs! I hope you are doing well my friend.. especially with this new variant in the U.k., well it's made it's way to the U.S. as expected.. Stay safe my friend. Happy New Year! Charlie Tom Cunningham January 6, 2021 at 2:00 AM Thank you very much Charlie, we need humour more than ever now as this dark virus rages around our world, but we never give up hope. Happy New year to you and yours too. Tom

Judy Ball January 5, 2021 at 3:03 PM Really riotous humor Tom. Good job. God Bless, JB Tom Cunningham January 5, 2021 at 3:28 PM Thank you very much Judy, im happy you enjoyed them. Happy New year to you. Tom

Demetrios Trifiatis January 5, 2021 at 7:34 AM Absolutely marvelous Limericks! I nominate you for The Noble of Limericks my friend, Tom! Congratulations! You are an inexhaustible source of laughter! Thank you! Tom Cunningham January 5, 2021 at 8:12 AM Thank you very much Demetrios,, im pleased you enjoyed them, as they say you can't have enough humour. Tom

Mark Koplin January 5, 2021 at 6:07 AM Awesome Job with your limericks Tom!! Great fun, thanks for sharing. You've covered it all, from roosters to pills. Tom Cunningham January 5, 2021 at 8:10 AM Thank you Mark, im happy that you enjoyed them. Tom

Lindsay Laurie January 4, 2021 at 9:27 PM G’day Tom … plenty of entertainment here, along with your usual wit Tom - thanks Mate - Lindsay Tom Cunningham January 5, 2021 at 4:40 AM Thank you very much Lindsay, happy new year to you. Tom

Jenna Logan January 4, 2021 at 5:05 PM Poor Johnny, Jim, Freddie, Rufus, Arthur and Sue... Tom's limerick horrors weren't meant to frightened you... But I turned green at the gills...I had goosebumps and chills...Humor by Cunningham~ do not ever eschew... Great limericks, Tom. Glad I didn't miss reading them today. Tom Cunningham January 5, 2021 at 4:40 AM Haha Love it Jenna, glad you enjoyed them, all fiction of course Tom

Andrea Dietrich January 4, 2021 at 2:28 PM oh you really are good at these, Tom. A few of these made me LOL Tom Cunningham January 4, 2021 at 3:14 PM Thank you very much Andrea, im happy you enjoyed them. We need a bit of humour at the moment, we're in lockdown again. Tom

Eve Roper January 4, 2021 at 12:45 PM Great limericks, Tom, really like the first one. Happy New Year. Hugs Eve Tom Cunningham January 4, 2021 at 12:51 PM Thank you very much Eve, hope you are well and happy new year to you too. Tom

Anne-Lise Andresen January 4, 2021 at 12:33 PM - :))) ... thumbs up for old Johnny :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Tom Cunningham January 4, 2021 at 12:50 PM Thank you very much Anne, humour will get us through the dark days ahead. Tom

Beryl Edmonds January 4, 2021 at 12:00 PM Tom, a great laugh in a string of Lims, what joy to the Soup your repertoire brings... enjoyed them all ~ Belle Tom Cunningham January 4, 2021 at 12:49 PM Thank you very much Belle, need humour more than ever, another lockdown grrrr Tom

Terry Flood January 4, 2021 at 1:22 AM Brightened a dull, overcast day, Tom. If I had to choose I’d go for Rooster or Freddie, but all were fun. Thanks for the giggles. Terry Tom Cunningham January 4, 2021 at 2:40 AM Thank you Terry, dull here too, escaped the snow so far here in Worcestershire. Tom

Victor Buhagiar January 3, 2021 at 10:55 PM Brilliant and funny. The story of Arthur has rarely happened in the past. Had to be taken to hospital for deflation. :) ~~ Tom Cunningham January 4, 2021 at 12:02 AM Lol, I remember reading about a case years ago, how embarrassing for the couple. Tom

Kim Rodrigues January 3, 2021 at 6:16 PM Fruity Freddy and the whiff of morning breath was my favorite! Kim Rodrigues January 4, 2021 at 3:53 PM Keep it up, Tom!! Tom Cunningham January 4, 2021 at 12:01 AM Lol, thanks kim, glad you enjoyed the humour. We need it in these gloomy times. Happy New year. Tom

Alexis Y. January 3, 2021 at 5:24 PM Lol! Tom, I really enjoyed your humorous string of Limericks. Thanks, I needed to read these today. Happy New Year, my friend:-) Alexis Tom Cunningham January 4, 2021 at 12:00 AM Thank you very much Alexis, glad you enjoyed them. Hope your new year off to a good start. Have a great week. Tom

Jan Allison January 3, 2021 at 3:32 PM thanks for the giggles Tom I needed it knowing 'porno police are out ... its a good job WE know that limericks are permitted to be risque and bawdy - I have reported some poems today that were not suitable for soup! :-) hugs jan xx Tom Cunningham January 3, 2021 at 11:59 PM Thanks Jan, what some people forget is that kids view this site, the rules are clear. Some sites vet poems before they're published online. We might sail close to the wind but we'd never go over the top, Tom

Panagiota Romios January 3, 2021 at 1:50 PM Thank you Tom... Always keep them laughing. You remind me of my rules as a stand up. . I must have lived on the moon, No sex jokes, no matter how innocent.))) Nightclub Ctub embarrassed me in Chicago. Today~ anything goes.. I think you did a fine job here.. Pangie Tom Cunningham January 3, 2021 at 2:36 PM Thank you very much Pangie, hope they cheered you up Tom

Vijay Pandit January 3, 2021 at 1:30 PM Laugh out loud moments in every one of these. Masterfully done as always. Nicely done to start the new year. Much joy to you in the new year, Tom. Tom Cunningham January 3, 2021 at 1:32 PM Thank you very much Vijay and I too wish you the same. Tom