Never Had a Hug

Growing up I never had a hug Parents were hugging vodka bottles Grew up in care without a role model Maybe that's why I find it hard to accept love I thought sleeping with girls would make my past better Now every girl I meet judges me on my track record Sometimes I was sleeping with 2-3 girls a day. 21 a week, don't make me do the math for a year No matter how much I like a girl, I can't make that disappear Thought i had a reason cause my Mother never gave me a hug Sex with these girls gave me some kind of affection, but I couldn't make it into love A heart full of pain and a mind with depression Always looked at love like I never had it so i don't need it If you don't like me then so be it There he goes being all defensive This is me admitting my flaws, this is more than penmanship Reminisce on my past but I'm not defending it I'm trying to be stronger and less sensitive I find It difficult to open up to girls and hug these females They want to know my past then judge the details Father died when I was 14, he never showed me how to be a man Depression had me and wouldn't free my hand My whole life I despised affection and hated love Maybe it's because I grew in care and my parents never gave me a hug