National Treasures No 2 Paul Merton

I love Paul Merton I just wish he'd keep his shirt on.... Stop flexing his pecs In front of Ant n Dec, Even Vladimir Putin shows more respect To the long suffering viewer; Paul:- climb out of the sewer, Resist the urge to flash Your naked rippling torso You're rightly famous cos you're so Frivolous and witty It would be a real pity If your elegant urbanity Was eclipsed by this inanity, The soul of wit is brevity So confine yourself to levity And keep that sex god bod, son Securely wrapped in cotton - Think of all the panel shows you've got on Whilst staying fully clothed In doublet and hose, The paps dont need to see your nipples It just creates unnecessary ripples In the light entertainment pond You are never going to star as Bond! Stick to your faintly surrealistic reflections On whether Cumberpatch keeps Capons, And for pity's sake Merton Just keep your blooming shirt on!