Nadir

Born into a landscape, Not quite littered with landmines, But the occasional hole - Holes that seem inescapable, Like quicksand - When I fall, I just keep falling. Where is the bottom, the nadir? It's impossible to know. It's impossible to get out, Like being captured in a whirlpool, My only direction is in and down. Like a lost spider in a toilet bowl When it's flushed. A vicious cycle - The only direction is down and in. I live in fear of these holes. Above ground, I find friends and pleasures, Challenges and detractors, But nothing I can't handle. Once I fall in, And approach the vortex, I'm hopeless. There is no pleasure. My friends don't understand. There is no way out. There is no bottom. I can only fall - In and down. Yet, I'm living proof That one can escape. Perhaps, I began in a kind of vicious cycle A cycle of anger, A cycle of hate. Cycles upon cycles, Round and round, With no escape. Tit for tat, It seems such cycles Can only deepen. But, somehow, I got out. It took time. Like George Harrison said, "All things must pass". A few times, I fell in love. It was like being pulled into a vortex, Without choice. My heart was broken. Somehow, I got out. It took time. All things must pass. Once, suddenly, My health was dealt a blow, Resulting in physical pain, Sending me, Down, down, down. I thought I could never get out. I still have the health problem, But I'm out of the hole. It took time. All things must pass. Once, suddenly, I lost my girlfriend. I lost my job. I lost my house. I lost my family. The ground under me was removed, I found myself with strangers on Christmas day. Even there, I was unwelcome. And I fell down, down, down. But I'm out of the hole. It took time. All Things Must pass. I live in fear of these holes, And I think I'm pretty good at avoiding them, But there is no guarantee, And I never know When I will fall down, down, down. I'm sure many people Have likewise fallen deep Into seemingly hopeless vicious cyclic whirlpools Of despair. I wonder, If even whole societies, Can suffer Vicious cycles, Tit for tat, Of of hate, hopelessness, ignorance, And despair, And, if so, One day, this too, Shall pass.