My Wife Is a Vegetarian

(This is a fictional poem) My wife is a vegetarian and she's making me be one too. I crave meat so much that I ate a leather shoe. Last week my wife got mad when I bought a Big Mac. She gave it to her german shepherd and he nearly bit my hand off when I tried to get it back. I'm unhappy because vegetables and fruits are all I've had to eat. I'd kiss an old hog just to get a little meat.