My Vantage Point

When I look in my mirror I don't see what you see I see fear and failure I see hate and anger I see inner turmoil and scars of self destruction What am I missing I hear your words about what you see But what you talk about is skin deep I don't care about my face I don't care about my body If you don't see my mind or my heart Then I must have fooled myself I made me believe I am something I'm not Someone worth anything you'd have to give up I thought I was enough That I was the person you could fall so deeply in love with that nothing else would matter no one else would matter I thought maybe my presence lingered in your mind long after I had gone or that maybe my words haunted you as well I'd hoped that I had spoken with such truth and spirit that you would also believe in such a love that many ridicule Now looking in the mirror I see doubt I am self conscious and I am full of self loathing How could I have been so wrong wrong about what you saw wrong about what I saw Perhaps I am playing a part so wrapped up in this fairy tale of a life only I have faith in maybe the type of love I imagine isn't real...just an illusion and maybe the person I thought I could be doesn't exist my vantage point is front row center stage the performance of my life unfortunately I was the only one to attend