My Sourest Sorrow

I keep begging for the better... I beg for sleep. I'm asking for a sense of peace... I ask for a helping hand. How many of my days have I used? How many waiting battles are coming my way... The things I've yet to do come storming through my mind. Will I have children? Be happily married? This plague is slowly eating at me alive. Killing me, in the slowest manner possible. I'm too young to fight this alone, I'm ill-prepared. I just started my life, I've yet to experience it. How soon is too soon? How far into the world have I walked? I want to travel.. I want to see you.. Is this the end, has my last breath reached the entrance? Where do I go from here? I never want to die. Immortality, that's what I ask for. For my last sight to see you happy. I rather grief than see you in agony. I've been given so much, please stay in denial. You don't need to face this reality sneaking upon me. Stay in your ignorant bliss. My dearest family.. My dearest mother, father. Don't face it, don't face it. Turn away whenever possible, don't face it. The saltiest ocean has struck me now. I'll keep this a secret. My sourest sorrow, my biggest regret. Not keeping you from the pain. Not letting you stay content.