My Pen Once Again

I finally decided to pick up my pen again I don’t know where to start or where to begin So much has happen since the last time I wrote I manage to hold on, I manage to cope I began to look around at the situation at hand Trying to figure it out, trying hard to understand On one side of me there’s this pain And the other side bears so much rain It’s hard to look up when the tears consonantly fall It’s hard to feel big when you feel so small The more my pen wrote the way that I feel It put life into reality and I knew it was real I couldn't handle the emotional state my pen brought I couldn't handle the truth that entered my thoughts So I gave up on writing and threw my pen away Not knowing that these thoughts Would come to mind again one day I find myself setting here holding this pen Tightly but firmly with all my strength in my hand While my thoughts run freely like grains of sand Afraid to write not knowing what will come out Afraid to believe and afraid to even doubt I vowed never to use this pen; never not again It brings out the worse that suddenly has no end I have to face the facts that no one quite Understands me the way that my pen does It shows me love and all the hatred in this world If I fail to use my pen I will overflow with thoughts Hidden from the truth and somehow forever lost When I picked up my pen I realize it doesn't judge It doesn't feed on hatred and never grant less love So here I am with my pen working hard again Putting thoughts on paper that simply has no end May be my thoughts can help someone else Maybe I’ll find me deep within myself I don’t know what all this pen will say Neither what it will tell me to write down today I am anxious and my patient is wearing thin Because I realize that in my hand Here lies my pen once again.