My Own Pen
Sometimes when I’m alone --
I start to think ---
Had I not been an addict ---
What could I have been?
What kind of life could I have given my children?
Of course these are questions not yet answered ---
A work in progress so to speak
Not a day goes by ---
That I don’t think about doing a shot ---
To release myself from this pain, shame and guilt
Because when I’m high I don’t think about any of that
I think only of myself ---
What I want and how I’m going to get it
I thank the Lord ---
For delivering me ---
From that way of thinking ---
I thank him for the gift ---
That gives me the chance ---
To reach out to others ---
Almost every poem I write ---
Comes from the bottom of my heart ---
And the very depths of my soul ---
Very seldom do I allow myself
The pleasures of writing a simple poem --
That doesn’t carry with it a very profound message
See, I’m just like Jake and Elwood Blue’s
--- I am on a mission from God ---
God has transformed me into a poet teacher
The only way I can make any sense out of my life
Is by doing what I’m doing right now
Which of course is ---
Nothing less than ---
---Owning up to my own mistakes ---
For the world to see
Thus allowing me to answer
--- The responsibility of my own pen ---
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