My Own Pen

Sometimes when I’m alone --
                          I start to think ---
Had I not been an addict ---
                          What could I have been?
           What kind of life could I have given my children?
Of course these are questions not yet answered ---
                          A work in progress so to speak
Not a day goes by ---
                      That I don’t think about doing a shot ---
              To release myself from this pain, shame and guilt
           Because when I’m high I don’t think about any of that
I think only of myself ---
                         What I want and how I’m going to get it
I thank the Lord ---
                   For delivering me ---
                             From that way of thinking ---
I thank him for the gift ---
                           That gives me the chance ---
                                            To reach out to others ---
Almost every poem I write --- 
Comes from the bottom of my heart ---
                     And the very depths of my soul ---
Very seldom do I allow myself 
               The pleasures of writing a simple poem --
        That doesn’t carry with it a very profound message
See, I’m just like Jake and Elwood Blue’s
                   --- I am on a mission from God ---
God has transformed me into a poet teacher
The only way I can make any sense out of my life
Is by doing what I’m doing right now
                        Which of course is ---
                               Nothing less than ---
                   ---Owning up to my own mistakes ---
                             For the world to see
Thus allowing me to answer
                             --- The responsibility of my own pen ---
Copyright © | Year Posted 2009

Poem

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12
Shango Avatar
April 17, 2009 at 6:57 AM
Mike, every poem you write I feel your struggle, and though I was not there in the beginning I promise my support to the end ... poetry does give release, but it is faith in God that endures to tell that each of God's tomorrow is better than today, I am still learning to lean on Jesus, and we can find more power than we ever dream as we lean on Him ... love your work, thanks for your comments.
Ahmad Avatar
March 26, 2009 at 1:01 AM
Oh! Amazing....
Wood Avatar
March 12, 2009 at 2:33 PM
WOW!!! Feeling so humble right now to know you. Thank you "poet teacher." Congratulations, this poem really is HOT!
Devonshire Avatar
March 10, 2009 at 9:58 AM
Powerful words come from your pen, Michael. I wish you well on your "mission from God." Love, Carolyn
Esquire Avatar
March 9, 2009 at 2:50 PM
Dear Mike, President of the "Cool Name Club" I must agree with everyone who has comment ed on this Self Portrait POETRY Your direct Honesty is Inspiring Belated Congratulations on YOUR Five Year Anniversary LOVE YOU..HG
Dvorkis Avatar
March 5, 2009 at 7:10 PM
It's ok if you don't forgive yourself right away. No one does, least of all me, and I've been trying non stop for 2 years now. To say it's really f,ing hard is a gross understatement. You know what you're doing though. I can tell.
 Avatar
March 5, 2009 at 4:38 PM
The honesty and truth come through your words. In God, we find the hope to move forward and make the most of today and tomorrow. Thank you for sharing this inspirational poem with us. Blessings to you. Karen
Mason Avatar
March 4, 2009 at 2:16 PM
And take it from one 29 years in recovery, the lightness will appear and the message will still be carried my friend !! Have a wonderful time on your mission ... smile ... Great writing as always, Michael. Do you know yet when you're going to Washington?
Suzadail Jr. Avatar
March 4, 2009 at 11:13 AM
Coming face to face with accountability, You've won. Godd honest write. God bless. Vince
Townsend Avatar
March 4, 2009 at 8:59 AM
You may not realize the impact your thoughts and feelings may have on another. Here is a powerful write on a powerful subject that many suffer. Addiction is always there and though we may find ways to deal with it we never get over it. I think you have a gift and a huge heart to share so openly and possibly help another in their suffering. Keep writing... Smiles from Lolita
Herzog Avatar
March 3, 2009 at 11:25 AM
Dear Michael: What a very powerfully written poem. Filled with so much of your emotions. Thanks for reading my poem. So very glad you liked it. Love, Janice Herzog xoxo
Kibler Avatar
March 1, 2009 at 2:00 PM
Hey, thanks for mentioing my heroes...Jake and Elwood. One of the best movies of all time and perfectly tied in with your poem. Great work..I like the format variation, too.
Gorelick Avatar
March 1, 2009 at 10:31 AM
I think you had to be where you were to be where you are now. You are such an inspiration ..thank you for being so open and honest. I think you have reached people in a way you probably wont ever know. BG
Ryusaka Avatar
March 1, 2009 at 9:55 AM
Wow, thank you so much for letting your mistakes teach us! I love this poem, and admire you so much for overcoming! Thanks for the comment on Dance!
Al-Khalili Avatar
March 1, 2009 at 8:26 AM
Jordan, not almost -- yet every poem I read from you, I believe come from the heart. Incredible write. "Thank you for commenting on my poem, "There She Blows". Much appreciated. At peace, Sami
Joe Avatar
March 1, 2009 at 7:12 AM
A good strong confessional piece michael. I like the way you present the narrative from a good starting point and refuse to allow self-pitious and victimhood in to spoil the piece. The layout of the poem reiforces the theme, in that it creates a feeling of hesitancy. I am not religious and that Higher Poewr stems from the everyday interaction in life. However the strength of a belief in a diety comes over well. The line 'God has transformed me into a poet teacher' is a great example.
Butler-Mendez Avatar
March 1, 2009 at 6:06 AM
Yes, we have to keep strong and believe in yourselves and God. Many have been in this situation. This offers hope is also inspiring. Good job and best of luck in all you do.
Chamma Avatar
March 1, 2009 at 4:50 AM
That's a wonderful poem...Thank you for sharing Micheal.... Always, Farah
Ehigiator Avatar
February 28, 2009 at 6:25 PM
God Bless You *Tyesha YF4L
Ehigiator Avatar
February 28, 2009 at 6:22 PM
Michael, Bless your heart...Don't let Satan steal your Joy..The past needs to stay where it is..The hurt and the guilt can eat away at your soul unless you release it completely and give it over to God..Not only have you owned up to your mistakes but you've learned from them setting an example for others.Through your poems you have revealed the time you walked in darkness, but thank God he set you free and you are shining so beautifully..Focus on the future and all the beauty it holds for you.
Gass Avatar
February 28, 2009 at 6:07 PM
You do what you do with the beauty of your soul that shines in your words Michael. I admire your strength to write about your past experiences to help others conquer there demons. Wonderful poetry with such a heartfet message. GBY! Love, Robn
Rhinem Avatar
February 28, 2009 at 5:47 PM
....it is like all of Your words just seem soo stirring unto me~Smile~I love it!!!~And yes, "God" has always led "You" through Your life Michael~even when You thought it was dark~I know that You already know this!!!~Smile~that "You Are" exactly where "He" wants "You" to be; even as I write to You!!!~"Another Beautiful Write and Testament My Brother~As Always!!!"~"Love Forever To 'You and Your Loves, Always, John!!!"~Bye Michael!:))
Rhinem Avatar
February 28, 2009 at 5:41 PM
Smile~Yes, I love it!!~"Hello My Blessed and Beautiful Brother Michael, and All of Your Priceless Loves!!!"~I do not know what it is right now Michael~But the last few reads I have read here; including Your own wonderful write here~has left my heart feeling as if The Holy Spirit, has poured this love for all of You, deeper into my soul than it has ever been....cont....
Duhart Avatar
February 28, 2009 at 8:11 AM
Excellent write. It's the enemy's job to keep reminding us of our past..Let's take a moment and remind him of his future..It looks dark from here. Great write and continue to share. Your message is getting across.
Winter Avatar
February 28, 2009 at 8:04 AM
Beautiful, perfect poetic truth. You are a constant inspiration and teacher to so many. Every write goes deeper and deeper into what makes you who you are. A person who is respected, valued and loved by so many. Michael, please check your soup mail. It actually has a lot to do with what this poem is about. Love you always, Shar YF4L
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