My Next Door Neighbor
My next-door neighbor keeps an immaculate car
Sits on his front porch and strums his acoustic guitar
He lives in an exceptionally small house of four rooms
With four Alaskan malamutes he perpetually grooms.
He told me he recently divorced his fourth wife
After four years of extreme abusive marital strife
She took all his savings and charges him child support
That is his side of their story, which he loves to report.
The other day he told me he is back on the market
Looking for a middle-aged woman who is “not a harlot”
I told him I did not think he is ready for number five
He said having a woman around is what keeps him alive.
I do not understand men who have no life when single
At fifty-five he still hit the bars, always ready to mingle
I told him I thought it was time for him to settle down
But my good advice for him was met with a frown.
One day when the Lord calls him to the hereafter
He will not be prepared to go; still be running after
Wife number six, seven, or eight—it will be too late
I’ve been told, at last call, he’ll be looking for a date!
written May 25, 2021
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