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My New Year's Resolutions: Humor

I have tracked my New Year's Resolutions 
over the years these are my fantastic results.

Resolution One

2011: I will try to be more attentive to Lauren.
2012: I will pay more attention to what's her name...ah...Lori...I know I'm close.  
2013: I will try for reconciliation with Lo.
2014: I will try to be more attentive to Carol.

Resolution Two

2011: I will walk 35,000 steps a day this year.
2012: I will definitely start my walking routine this year at 10,000 steps a day.
2013: I will walk once a week.
2014: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

Resolution Three

2008: I will not stare at women's cleavage .
2009: I will cut down the amount of time I stare at women's cleavage.
2010: I will stop being so obvious when I stare at women's cleavage.
2011: I will attempt to stop getting caught staring at women's cleavage.
2012: I will stop increasing the time I spend staring at women's cleavage.
2013: I will seek professional help as directed by the courts.
2014: I will try to stop starring at the female prison guards cleavage.

Resolution Four

2011: I will not let my siblings push me around.
2012: I will stick up for myself with at least one of my siblings.
2013: I will not let my siblings bullying depress me.
2014: I will talk to Dr. Potter and the group about my siblings.

Resolution Five

2008: I will read Clarissa this year all 1534 pages.
2009: I did not read Clarissa I will read Varney The Vampire all 866 pages.
2010: I will read the first 50 pages of Varney The Vampire this year.
2011: I will read some articles in the newspaper this year.
2012: I will try and finish the comics section this year.
2013: I will read one strip in the cartoon section this year.
2014: I will read the fortune cookie thingy the next time I have Chinese Food. 

18~12~2014
Sponsor: Regina Riddle
Contest Name: New Year's Resolution 

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014




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Date: 1/3/2015 8:56:00 AM
LOL, Happy New year sweetie, hope you've had a wonderful start, its going to be a great year! Smile for me!
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Date: 1/2/2015 11:17:00 PM
Very funny stuff Maurice...I guess the only resolution is breaking the resolutions...Congrats on your win
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Date: 1/2/2015 2:23:00 PM
Maurice, I'm copying this as its hilarious and my favorite by far.. Well deserving of your first place finish!!
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Date: 1/2/2015 12:44:00 AM
It is another winning year, congrats Maurice ...huggs
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Date: 1/1/2015 6:04:00 PM
it is a nice year so far. Maurice, Congratulations -- This is a great way to start the new year. Enjoyed reading your winning poem. Always & Forever ~LINDA~
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Date: 1/1/2015 4:05:00 PM
Hi Maurice, congrats on your win. I loved the humor, but underneath, we learn a lesson about resolutions! Happy New Year! Sandra
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Date: 1/1/2015 2:18:00 PM
Maurice, congratulations on your winning poem.Resolutions have good intentions but sometimes they are hard to keep. Blessings to you for the coming year
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Date: 1/1/2015 12:55:00 PM
dropping back with my congrats Armand:-)Happy new year Hugs Jan xxx
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Date: 12/19/2014 11:28:00 AM
After watching Scrooge on TV - three different versions - I enjoyed your humor. Thanks for looking me up. Love, daver
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Date: 12/19/2014 10:56:00 AM
Very funny.. good luck in the contest!
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Date: 12/19/2014 1:56:00 AM
Your sense of humour will stay with me this year. I will try to laugh so much and more next year. Love it. Thanks for the visit to my site. Have a great Xmas
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Date: 12/19/2014 12:38:00 AM
A definite winner here! Still laughing...I've given up on resolutions, too...faving this one! Hugs, Rhonda
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Date: 12/18/2014 10:47:00 PM
hahaha. you deserve a win with this cleverness, maurice. Loved all your resolutions and how well they reflect in their exaggerated way , the silliness of resolutions in general!!
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Date: 12/18/2014 10:47:00 PM
fave for sure.
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Date: 12/18/2014 4:05:00 PM
You might "read Clarissa this year", in-between your, "starring at the female prison guards cleavage." I will head off to the toilet before my panties are soaked from laughing so hard at your resolutions.
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Date: 12/18/2014 3:04:00 PM
oh this made me giggle - good luck! Hugs jan xxx
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Date: 12/18/2014 1:11:00 PM
Very funny my friend...happy new year
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