My New Years Resolutions Have Been So Great

My resolutions have been so great, so terrific, and terribly nice.
I have liked them down to my toes, the first was to be a cop of vice.
I wanted a fire truck, and clang the bell, and drive myself to the Y
Where I would swim sixteen miles a day, and end up incredibly fly.

The cops would not take me as I was one month and six days too old.
So I applied to be a Disc Jockey, so brassy, and cute and bold.
They had advertised for an enthusiastic, talker, and a go-getter, 
This resolution now off my list, because I could not get a sitter.

I resolved to see my best friends once a week for coffee and a snack.
But out of the six I called and texted, only one called back.
She said, my resolution is to stay home and eat healthy this year.
A veggie meal which I had to invite myself to was my greatest fear.

I would stop spending excessive money, stay away from the mall.
I disposed of this resolution as my only hobby is shopping after all
As my friend, I must let you know, in case it is not decidedly clear 
This year's resolutions are the exact same ones I had last year.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Conde Avatar
January 13, 2019 at 3:10 PM
I like this 1, after a few beers ill mustur up the most grandios ideas of self improvement known to man... Then wake up on the 1st and my belt and the back of my phone are missing and i quickly forget whatever i was blathering about the night before
Krutsinger Avatar
January 14, 2019 at 8:04 AM
There is nothing like a little inebriation to bring out the imagination and the grand ideas. I like this comment, because of the sheer honesty of it, and the integrity in the honesty of it. Thank you John!
Kiser Avatar
January 5, 2019 at 5:05 AM
I never make resolutions; when I did, I couldn't seem to keep them so, now I just enjoy the year.
Krutsinger Avatar
January 5, 2019 at 9:34 AM
I used to make them. Gave it up years ago, and so happy about it. Crazy happy really.
Cunningham Avatar
January 4, 2019 at 3:17 AM
I gave up years ago but determined to try and lose some weight, the festivities have made my clothes a bit too snug lol. Tom.
Krutsinger Avatar
January 4, 2019 at 8:13 AM
I do not have them any more, but there was a writing prompt on another site, and I could not resist throwing something into the contest. It was very specific - 16 lines, four stanzas, and the poem had to rhyme.
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace