My Most Embarrassing Moment

It was October the tenth of eighty-eight, The memory still keeps me awake, When I agreed to my first and last blind date And thus made a HORRID mistake! We met for cocktails at six on the nose Knowing I had to work around nine In my bag shoved a bra and casual clothes Headed off perky, bra-less and fine. My friend had described him as "funny as hell" Only hoped she did not mean his face. The only lone man's head was covered with gel And two straws in his nostrils were placed. I tried to make a quick turn around But his horn-rims were not just for show His beard held remnants of the food he had downed And I soon found an excuse to go. I grabbed up my purse, to my car made a dash In the dark quickly took off my shirt Reached for my bra, heard an unsubtle crash And my senses all went on alert! And there in my window, redder now than his nose Stood my date for once flustered and mute. And upon his head like some white, lacy rose Was my bra, looking nothing like cute. And lighting the way, so all could enjoy My topless display and disgrace With flashlight in hand, each scout a boy Was troop 547 Lake Grace. "You dropped this, I'm sorry" he stammered and ran As the boys still continued to stare. "Move along now young men, you helped out that man! I've no badges pinned on me down there!" So that is the tale how I gave up all dates And now ALWAYS stay covered up tight And how one moment can change all of our fates Signed, Sister Margaret, Order of Light.