My Mind
I never would have imagined such numbness once it happened...
once I took that razor to my arm...
I had become a totally different person...
once I felt the warmness of my blood...
trickle down my arm...
I never felt so alive...
that sting it gave me...
made me feel good...
more alive...
I couldn’t stop once I started...
it wasn’t a habit...
nor coping skill...
it was my life...
it became my other side...
I did it constantly...
cut...
watched the blood make its way down my arm...but only to be wiped away by a
hand wet from wiping away tears...
when I wasn’t doing it...
I was thinking it...
wondering if it was possible to make myself so numb...to go to a completely
different place...a place with no return...
I can honestly say that I loved it...
it made me feel whole...
I just wanted to feel alive...
to feel something...I wanted to come out of the numbness that I was being
overcome by...
I was so numb...that I was hurting...in pain...And a lot of it...I still am...I feel like
there is no help for me...i could honestly say...That if I were to see someone's
blood...I would wonder about how it felt for them to have gone so long without
letting loose...
then flashback...To the days when I would feel that warmness slowly trickle down
my arm...
and cry...
but I don’t know...
I don’t read minds...
But I guess I should stop here before someone finds out what's on mine....
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