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My Lazy Eye Part 1

There is a moment when the clock strikes midnight The world around me is filled with echoes of the day And I have a quiet moment to reflect on my experiences Thinking about how far I've come in under two years But also thinking about how far I still have to go Perhaps I'm not as lonely as I used to be I have many people I can associate with now But still in that quiet hour I sit alone in my bedroom Peering out a dusty window at the black sky Strewn with stray but twinkling stars I have people but at the same time I have nobody I have friends but at the same time I have no love I have dreams but at the same time I have no destiny I have strength but at the same time I have no courage It's silly but I spend so much time absolutely obsessed Over what others think of me right here in this chair But really I worry about my old weakness, my right eye People tell me I shouldn't worry about it But none of them know what it's like to deal with it To constantly reassure people I'm looking at them When they look over their shoulder like I'm not talking to them Nobody knows what it's like to walk into walls Or fail to grab something because you have no depth perception Everyone talks about disability but fail to mention Amblyopia I can't catch balls, I can't throw footballs, I can't do a lot Having no depth perception means I can't watch 3D movies Just for one day I wish I knew what it was like to be normal I just want to make eye contact with both eyes I just want to be able to catch a football without struggling I want to see a move and watch it pop in 3D I want casual conversation without people being uneasy But what I don't want is a pity party over my affliction I don't want people telling me to get over it Or that it doesn't affect how they see me Because these lies don't make me feel any better about myself I guess the truth is I'm cursed like a leper

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Caren Krutsinger

Date: 2/9/2019 12:46:00 AM

Christopher, I had never heard of this affliction. It sounds like you know it on a first hand basis. I cannot see 3D movies because it gives me a headache. I do not mind at all, not seeing them. But if you cannot catch a football, that would be inconvenient. Thank you for an honest write. Nicely done, and an education for me.