My Joy Has Been Zapped
he took away my joy
my joy of giving
as i give all i have and know would help,
but is unappreciated, not what's wanted
when needed
he taunts me with the joy of helping,
then smacks me with his left hand
for thinking my gifts are worth giving
the weight of the world has me with a heavy heart
he makes me fall to sickness
when I'm needed
knowing I'm being used
just to be slapped down later
i so tired
from the many copings
i must battle
unable to function
i fall short
from the industrious
wife i use to be
uselessness is my disgrace
in life
unable to pull myself up
from the cliff i fallen
into the dungeon
of self worthlessness
i cant even help myself
much less help some one else
at this point
i try to get up and enjoy life
but it is a heavy load
heavy as an elephant on my back
as a anchor holding
me down in the deep waters of life
my pain is creeping in me fast
lingering in my arms
my fingers as a dull ache
pulsating my gums
depression is engulfing me
unable to rise above it
without the help of some that loves me
or someone that wants to but can't
is bring me to another low point
in my miserable lonely life
i have nothing to do
thats makes me happy
and benefits others as well
what i want i can't have
happiness
a feeling of worthiness
i see now that it's unattainable
in my world of unrealistic expectations
Copyright © Barbara Washington | Year Posted 2012
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