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My Gay Moment

My mom always told me not to show my heart so much, because she said the world will chew it up and spit it out in chucks that won’t fit back together. See in fourth grade, I met a girl. She was beautiful, met her in the bus line. Her friend next to her started the conversation, she said “hey Andrew, do you think my friend Chloe’s cute.” I had been looking at her friend chloe for about 3 minutes straight, I didn’t know what to say. I was like a freight train off the tracks, I answered “yes.” And smiled. She then replied, “you two should date because chloe thinks your very cute.” It’s funny, I don’t really remember doing anything with chloe. I just remember this feeling of the world crashing down on my ten-year-old shoulders, when we broke up 3 weeks later. That day we broke up. I got home, and I cried in my room. You must understand this was the first time I’ve been heartbroken. I remember my mom came into my room, and asked what’s wrong. In my hand I held something that didn’t belong, a note chloe had written that was given to me by one of her friends earlier that day. Basically, it said we are done but I hope we can still be friends and at the end of the note she drew a picture of us playing together on the playground. We never became friends after that. I actually became friends with her next boyfriend who she dropped me for, and he was spending more time with me than with her so she dumped him. Long story short, every boyfriend she had that went to the same elementary school from grade 4 to 5 I became really good friends with. Basically, I was trying to get back together with her by stealing her boyfriends. Which was the worst possible decision because that made me look like I’m gay. Which I’m not, And Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay. We’ve all had our moments, mine just happened to be when I was 10 and heart broken. But you know I never would’ve made such good childhood friends if I wouldn’t have put my heart out there. Now, was making new friends the goal of becoming friends with her boyfriends, heck no. But it just means there’s a silver lining to almost anything, you just must have the courage to see it. So, mom I’m sorry, but I believe my heart is too strong for the world to chew!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




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Book: Shattered Sighs