My Friend Is Lost, My Heart Is Broke

in a room I lay with you invading my thoughts I cant seem to get you out of my head I know I should let go and move forward But It eats me to think I lost my only friend. I cant bring myself to cry nor do I know how to get closure I don't want to let go of you but reality is, it has been over. I didn't care if you hurt me because at least you were there pride no longer a factor and I know you really cared. It became a chore to stay away that is what u needed at the time I tried to be there regardless because I was the happiest when at ur side. I never could grasp the reason or what I did so wrong to you I felt like I understood and It was okay but at the end of the day, it wasn't i u'd choose. Understanding on a verbal contract but I wasn't the one who left I get why you did the things you did but u didn't get, for you i wanted only the best. well, now I am here and you there as I have come to peace with whats real I know I have to be at a distance for now need time for my heart to heal I am still your friend, that won't ever change but I have to go on with my life you told me from the beginning but I chose not to listen and I can say that with you I honestly tried. tried to love and never judge although things made me feel like I wasn't good enough Maybe I was to deep into my heart and I was mistaken our arrangement for something it never was………