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My First Step

Wobbly I stood and wobbly I remain -

The sole  of my Soul untested and untried

Not trusting the firmament on which its stability stands.

So I must reach.




For a kind hand, a rock to assuage my rocky start.

Euphoria washes over me and I am utterly awed by this new and strange vision.

So that's a knee? And that a thigh?

And those are what?




What manner of visage is this?

This is not in my owner's manual -

Maybe I should call Tech Support.

I'm missing some parts I see in my minds mirror.




Do I cut or copy or paste?

Maybe I should just undo.

But, no, I have found the fork in the road and must take it

For better or  worse, in richer and in poorer.




The intrigue of this countenance seduces me

And awe engages my every  moment of discovery.

I must succumb to this rapture whatever my fate.

Be it ecstasy or defeat I will follow this sweetness or acridity to its end.




A flash of recognition burgeons briefly in my mind's eye.

Deja vu, maybe - but what the hell is a deja vu?

I have not been in this place before.

There is no trace of memory to beget such a sight




And who are these whose steps seem so similar?

A hand like mine and a foot straining as so

And a breath seems to be a mutuality unknown before.

I am behooven and beholden to acknowledge this other thing.




I cannot ignore so divine a connection.

But what is a divine?

What I cannot sense I am averse to imagiine

Lest my awe but supplanted by a terror.




A terror that could destroy "us" both

And who are these "us"?

I don't remember such a concept.

It must have been mentioned in the Prologue I neglected to read.




The Awesomeness of the first touch and the grasp of  two hands are beyond all metaphors.

And what is this "two", pray-tell?

Again a new and strange and exciting experience -

The wonder that  I feel begets a sanctity beyond any measure.




In this palm-womb I  place my serenity and my security

I am past the point of no return

There is no more amnion

And water is thicker than blood now.




My sustenance must come from somewhere, or something or someone else.

And what is an "else"?

I'm confused - why am I getting no help here?

Oh, of course - the hand.




My Power depends on the benevolence of this "other hand"

And what is a Power?

Another secret withheld

Left for me to define and, hence, acquire?




Who is dominant in this partnership?

Whose will will hold sway in time of danger

A what is a "will"?

Oh, I remember now - something having to do with this "power" I quake at.




My imagination runs rampant

With such a thing as a will -

From whence it comes is suspect and

What shall I do with it binds me in the strongest of fetters.





To break the bonds, to break the bonds - that is the question

And I am again beset with the sensation of this other hand - this bindless bond.

The way to break these bonds,

My raison d'etre

The modus operandum of my purpose,

However gauche,trite,quotidian,cliche-ish and common-place it may be,i

Is to love unconditionally.

To revere, venerate and forever worship this, no  MY mutuality,This soulful symbiosis.




This is a god of my construction,

A divine gift.

And what is a "divine gift"

Tune in next week - the denouement is just around the corner.




And, oh, the step, the step , the step - i almost forgot.

One day when I am old I will remember this moment.

And my heart will ache for the breach that time has rent.

And my heart will ache for the breach that time has rent.

           


                                      G Tiberius Thomas

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