My Female Stalker
She's the albatross around my neck
The stone in my shoe
The barnacle on my bum
She younger than my mum.
She follows me around the town
And I'm not sure what to do
She even got jealous when a talked to a lady of 92
I didn't want to hurt her feelings
But
I told her she was mad in the head
And why shouldn't she follow
Someone else instead.
With mournful watery eyes
Then to comfort her
I held her in my arms
It's then she handcuffed me
And I heard a police car alarm.
I'd been mistaken for a convict who'd
Escaped from jail
Now I've been here 15 years
As all my appeals have failed.
Just my luck who in their right mind would follow me
I get out of jail next week
I wonder if they will be
A hundred poetry women
Not policewomen following me
Well I can dream can't I.
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