My Blood Is Caffeinated

Coffee runs through my veins, and under eye circles are now a permanent feature on this face. my eyes beg me for rest, as I stare at the computer screen. I have to keep working my brain tells me. I wanna breakdown and cry, my heart reminds me, as i put on a cheerful smile, and brave each day, each class. "you're the most cheerful person I've ever met", they tell me, not knowing the girl underneath. If only they saw what goes into wearing this "beautiful smile" of mine. If only they saw me, as i cry myself to sleep, every night, as the darkness surrounded me. will they still think my smile is "beautiful"? Will they still think I'm "the most cheerful person they've met"? My blood is caffeinated. Every night, I toss and turn. Sleep eludes me, when I am alone with my demons. And the zombie that I have become, knows "no sorrow". the zombie that I have become is happy. She doesn't think. She doesn't feel. She only smiles. The zombie that I have become, is who they think I am