My Addiction

I held you in my hand so long ago, it was like holding a diamond or bar of gold.
Little did I know then, every chance you got you would be causing my own suicde
Putting you to my lips, it cinges hairs like a raging wildfire in a forest in the summer
 Your glow would fill my insides like a building with dancing flames.
My ears hear you yelling my name, like a mother calling for her children for dinner
Life got harder the more I aged, but you failed to grow old with me.
Through abuse and bullies and even the way I treated myself. You were there. 
Gripping my throat tight and hanging onto every part of my laden air 
You're in my clothes, you meshed yourself into my body like a end of the summer tan.
Poison laced fingers trace the outline of my children's face. Breath unmistakable to those who doesn't know your wrath.
Lungs tighten every time I reach for you, telling myself it's the last time.
Slowly killing myself was what you had in mind. My coughs make me croak like a bog of bullfrogs singing their song to the moon.
My addiction to you is unlike anything else I have ever endured. Every drag off of your end, I tell myself to just get it over with and kill me already.
People quit you every day. But you never quit on me. Coughing turns light into the dark and I think maybe this is it.
But as quickly as the dark appears, it leaves me again to reveal you're not done with me yet.
A cigarette now, what could it hurt? You're plan has already killed the part of me that people cannot touch. After all, they say it isn't the fire that kills you.
Its the smoke.......right?

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