Mr Wig
[Pylon (UK) = Transmission tower or Electricity pylon (USA)
Domestos = Bleach]
_________________________________________________
Jeremy Wig was entirely bald
He sought the best hairpiece that he could afford
He opened his wallet which made the moths blink
With just a few coins he had to rethink
He went to a fancy dress shop for his hair
The price was unreal - like everything there
The wig that he purchased had hair made of nylon
He got a big shock when he walked near a pylon
People would laugh for his hair was a shocker
He looked like a seventies reject punk rocker
He hurried off home, wiped his feet on the mat
A static charge instantly toasted his cat
He went here and there, lightning bolts everywhere
Burning folk’s clothing and their underwear
Stark naked people with burned crinkly hair
All would curse Jeremy’s new nylon hair
People he knew learned to dress in asbestos
Someone said, “Let’s make the man drink Domestos.”
Whatever they said he just didn’t care
For he was so pleased with his new nylon hair
He went to a party and had some fun there
Even when six balloons stuck to his hair
A text that was typed made his hair stand on end
The fireworks started when someone pressed ‘Send’
When someone said, “Go back to just being bald.”
He thought of the horrible names he’d been called
He wasn’t prepared to be somebody’s joke
He pulled a balloon off… and went up in smoke
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