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More Tom's Tidbits

I'm not too overly computer sav v y.
I tried putting a Hefty bag in my recycle bin.
I signed up for free instant messenger.  He was at my door by the last keystroke.
I started to cut and paste.  Real soon my screen was covered with paper.
AOL trial members found me guilty.
Adobe reader?  What idiot writes on bricks?  Turning pages will poop you.
AOL Explorer browser?  Tried it and found a set of eyeballs staring at me.
I downloaded my computer.  Now it's on the floor.
I tried "Ultimate Arcade".  Turned out to be a rifle range game, and I was the 
target.
I took the term "software" seriously.  Ever try to fold a laptop?
I'd never let my cow go near a Gateway sight.
Most people have Windows Media Player.  I got mine rare.  It rarely works.
I don't use America On Line anymore.  Now I use the dryer.
I found the only way for me to pee in the toilet was to aim elsewhere.
I gave my lawyer a bunch of money to invest.  Didn't realize he was investing in 
himself.  He won't take my calls, just my money.
Been there.  Done it.  Done it again.  And again.  I don't know what I'm doing.
I bought a can of Pam.  But she wouldn't come out.  Just hissed and spit at me.
My psychiatrist committed me for depraved indifference.  Cause i woulnd't pay his 
bill.
I used to think you needed a club foot to join a fraternity football team.
I was 13 before I learned that spitting in my face was not a perfectly normal 
greeting.
I tried to join the Planetary Society, but they mooned me.
Must's had too much wine last night.  Started drinking it through a strawberry 
flavor-straw.
I wonder what someone who consumes edible panties has for desert?
I tried smoking pot when i was young, but couldn't get the copper lit.

Cheers!

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