Monster

She is a MONSTER. She attacks me with her viscous words. Makes sure I know I am unwanted. She hides under a pretty face, and attacks when you least expect it. She is a MONSTER. She is wicked. Making her whispers just loud enough for me to hear. Jealous when I have something that she can't have. She makes sure I cannot be happy. She is wicked. She is a MONSTER. She is cruel. Pitting everyone against me. Making me afraid to see what she will have in store for m each day. She makes sure that everyone knows her truth about me. Making sure I know that I am useless. She is cruel. She is a MONSTER. I AM A MONSTER. I do what I can to keep my MONSTER from coming out. I keep it trapped inside the cage that is me. But sometimes, the stress gets too great, and my MONSTER claws out. My MONSTER tears me down, and tears down the people I care about. My MONSTER ruins me. I AM A MONSTER. But I am one of the luckier ones. Through the years, I have learned to control my MONSTER. I have gotten stronger, braver, able to face these MONSTERS head on. Each time these MONSTERS attack me, I break a little more. One day, even though I try to block it out, these MONSTERS will break me down so much, that I will shatter. One day, I will be shattered into so many pieces that one day, I will not be able to glue myself back together. I have become a master at gluing myself together. I have become a master at hiding my MONSTER. I have become a master at not letting people see through the cracks, hiding my true self, and showing the new shiny container that my monster is kept in. I AM A MONSTER. I feel so lucky to be able to control my monster. I just wish that she could do the same.