monster

Daylight. Thank God. The monster comes at night. For now, I shake the strings loose, And try with my whole might. Reflections of the night before— My eyes are swollen shut, Bruises, scars, maybe broken bones. Don’t show you’ve had enough. The mirror reflects the bruises; I stare a bit too long. The monster's wrath shows on my face. Stay strong, girl. Stay strong. I will get through another day, As unsettled as I am. This zombie must move on, Or there’ll be hell to pay. Wait until he leaves for work. Get your thoughts together. Grab your things, walk out the door— The shelter awaits, your chance to weather. That first breath—oh God, I’m free. All I need, I leave behind; life is in front of me. He’s looking for me, asking around— Why won’t he let me be? He 'owns me,' he often said. Nobody else would want me. I’m ugly, fat, and too dumb to know— His words keep bouncing in my head. Will I ever be free of them? Numb as I lay here In this overcrowded unfamiliar place I close my eyes and realize For the first time I’m actually safe. Turmoil begins inside me, My thoughts are tug of war Should I stay here any longer Or return to him once more? I’m weak. No, I’m strong! I can do this on my own. The bruises, the scars, the marks will fade, What about the ones inside my head? I dream of days when I’m not afraid. I’m still so haunted by it all, His words still own my mind, But he no longer owns my soul. Days pass, weeks and months, The shadows won’t leave, But the fear has slightly faded, As happiness and laughter weave. I’m standing on the shore of my brand new life watching the waves of old, Each one reminds me how far I’ve come The courage and strength I now hold. My past still echoes, But it won’t define me anymore. I’ve found peace, I’ve found my voice, And I’ll never return to that door.