Moby Duck

A terrifying creature, This Valley Pond duck, Attacking innocent Chinese cooks, Who should have had better luck... I dedicated my life To killing this damn duck That had pooped on my head... Oh, my God, what yuck!!! I was forced to wear a hat Every time I went out, Knowing this vicious duck, Was looking for another bout... I should move to Peking, They know how to handle ducks, But unfortunately their leaders Are such stupid f__ks... So I set my course, Remote controlled radio boat, Loaded with M88's That should really get their goat Well I blew up the boat With my radio remote, But ducks have wings And a water-resistant coat They circled overhead Dive bombed with ducky-do, I was gettin' more pissed Believe me and you... So I came up with A devilish plan, One worthy of such a fool, I put out duck-sauce That was my baiting tool... And when they showed up, I slipped up on ducky-do Slid into the pond, And lost my left foot shoe... I was very near drowning In that stinking pond, But managed to save myself By clinging to a frond After about an hour I was rescued by the Pond Patrol, Who seemed to find my situation funny And laughed without control. So I warn you all, Beware! Watch out for mean ol' ducks They can crap on your head And believe me, that really sucks.