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Missing Tom

My cherished tomcat went missing
I sat at home in floods of tears
He’d been my devoted companion
I’d had him for so many long years

So I put up some missing cat posters
Around the village and in the papers
Has anyone seen my lost pussy…
I was shocked to learn of his capers!

My tomcat was known to be randy
Some weeks he would not return
He was seen with that queen named Sandy
Her advances my Tom would not spurn

I got phone calls from various places
To say Tom had been living with them
He had his paws firmly under the table
Grr he’s like so many unfaithful men

My Tom had a string of cat lovers
Or are they merely a lover of cats
Cos he loves to have his tummy tickled
He had boltholes in houses and flats

I discovered that he was a father
Many kittens had my pussy sired
with Topsy and Fluffy and Tiddles
Oh my pussy these kitties desired

I’ve given up hope of my Tom returning
and I’ve got rid of his blue feeding dish
He’s unfaithful and he no longer loves me
but you’re welcome to feed him some fish

If by chance my Tom deems to pay me a visit
By scouring high fences and walls
He’s off to the vet’s in a cat carrier case
Cos he’s going to be losing his balls!

Inspired by the title of the ‘Missing Tom’ Blog by Becca Teagan

07-25-17

Copyright © Jan Allison | Year Posted 2017

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Paul Schneiter Date: 8/21/2017 11:18:00 PM It doesn't matter what poetic form you use, the result is always the same: superb poetry. Virtually every line had me laughing, but the last line may well have cracked one of my ribs. You're the greatest, Jan. Hugs, Paul Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/22/2017 3:04:00 AM Paul you are too kind to me I just try to write funny poems and make people smile - I hope your ribs recover soon!!! . I wrote the first 7 stanzas in about ten minutes and was going to post it then ww went for a drive and as soon as i sat in the car the final stanza came to me so i scribbled it down - i think it finishes the poem purrfectly lol:-) hugs jan xx

Dean Wood Date: 8/9/2017 10:25:00 AM Here kitty kitty! I wouldn't be coming home either! Very funny poem Jan! -- Dean Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/9/2017 10:34:00 AM ha ha ha love that comment Dean:-) hugs jan xx

Kitty Lou Date: 8/7/2017 6:25:00 AM Love this! Your tom was busy! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/7/2017 7:35:00 AM Cheers Kitty:-) hugs jan xx

Edward Mccall Date: 8/1/2017 9:46:00 AM What a great poem Jan, thank you for the laughs this morning. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/1/2017 3:58:00 PM glad you enjoyed it Edward:-) hugs jan xx

Pat Adams Date: 7/29/2017 4:47:00 PM This is really funny. I am a sucker for plays on words! (Believe it or not). Great rhyme all the time........Rpat 80] Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 8/1/2017 3:59:00 PM I saw the blog title and a missing cat sprang to mind and the first 7 verses were written in about 5 minutes. Then we went for a drive and the final stanza came into my head so i scribbled it down and I think it ends the poem purrfectly:-) hugs jan xx

M. L. Kiser Date: 7/27/2017 3:20:00 AM Definitely a fav...I had a Tom like that once; he lived for 20 years and one day disappeared; God only knows where he passed across. He was a great friend. Love the poem, a great laugh. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/27/2017 3:35:00 AM I had a feeling you would enjoy this one lol:-) We had a cat who lived between us and our neighbours if she wasn't with us she was with them and we were devastated when she was knocked down and killed. The person who found her was a stranger to us yet they knew and loved our cat and they paid for the vets bill:-( I actually have an allergy to animal fur but was fine with our cat:-( hugs jan

Paul Callus Date: 7/26/2017 11:54:00 AM Very funny, Jan:) I paid a visit to Becca's blog, but after reading your last stanza I have a feeling that he would not want to return!! Hugs // paul Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/26/2017 12:06:00 PM LOL Paul that last stanza was an add on to the original few verses - I thought of it in the car and scribbled it down and when i posted the poem I thought it was the perfect ending:-) hugs Jan xx

Russell Sivey Date: 7/25/2017 10:42:00 PM Jan! You crack me up! What a spectacularly stupendous poem my friend! You have written a hilarious piece and I am one to agree, that last stanza really was quite funny! I really enjoyed reading this magnificent poem this evening, though you wrote early today, I read it late! Fantastic, Great Work!! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/26/2017 4:47:00 AM The final stanza was an afterthought Russell but it finished the poem purrfectly:-) I am doing another 'performance' with friends in September and think i will use this as one of the poems I am to recite:-) hugs jan xx

Akkina Downing Date: 7/25/2017 8:10:00 PM Holy cats LOL! Miss Jan, you just made me drop my fork, laughing. What a hilarious tale of your lost Cat. Can't wait to share this with my friends tomorrow. Lol! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/26/2017 4:46:00 AM I was inspired by the blog Akkina lol:-) The final stanza was written in the car and I think it ends the poem so well:-) hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich Date: 7/25/2017 6:17:00 PM haha, Oh, Jan, you are getting away with a so-called "bad" word in this poem, one that got the poem of my friend Daver booted when he used it!! This is great fun. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/25/2017 6:29:00 PM Gee Andrea it's about a cat lol but with the way things are going at the moment here anything is possible lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Seren Roberts Date: 7/25/2017 4:35:00 PM lol great write .. still smiling....Seren Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/25/2017 6:29:00 PM Cheers Seren:-) hugs jan xx

Ilene Bauer Date: 7/25/2017 4:29:00 PM ha! this is very charming, jan, with your usual grin-worthy ending! lots of fun... Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/25/2017 6:46:00 PM I wrote the final stanza when I was in the car with hubby this morning and it finished the poem off perfectly lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Connie Marcum Wong Date: 7/25/2017 12:09:00 PM So cute Jan! What a terrific ending! Poor Tom! : ) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/25/2017 6:46:00 PM The final stanza was an add on written in the car I am so pleased that people like it Connie:-) hugs Jan xx

Mike Gentile Date: 7/25/2017 11:17:00 AM So Funny, I did not know where this was going, I really enjoyed it! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/25/2017 11:22:00 AM Cheers Mike I did have fun when I saw the blog title. I'm so glad you enjoyed my silly poem:-) hugs Jan xx

Alexis Y. Date: 7/25/2017 10:31:00 AM Lol! Jan, What a funny tale you have penned. I laughed out loud! Thanks for the laughs:-) Alexis Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/25/2017 10:37:00 AM Thanks Alexis it's amazing how a certain word or phrase can inspire a poem - this took about 5 or 6 minutes to write:-) hugs Jan xx

Joanna Daniel Date: 7/25/2017 10:13:00 AM Ha ha, that was funny, Jan:) Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/25/2017 10:37:00 AM glad it made you smile Jo:-) hugs jan xx

Lim'Rik Flats Date: 7/25/2017 9:52:00 AM I just learned I can laugh out loud and wince at the same time;-) Poor kitty:-( Hey — lust is a must or the species goes bust! Hall of fame chukle'r miz Jan! hugneutskies! ~ j Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/25/2017 10:39:00 AM I originally wrote the 7 stanzas and was going to post it when we came back from a drive and walk but sat in the car and the final stanza got written and it finished the poem purrfectly:-) hugs Jan xx

Scott Thirtyseven Date: 7/25/2017 9:01:00 AM What a hoot to read. Best of luck with the contest. Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/25/2017 9:37:00 AM No contest Scott I read Becca's blog with the title 'missing tom' and it immediately made me think of a cat lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Kim Rodrigues Date: 7/25/2017 8:09:00 AM LOL...especially the end! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/25/2017 8:11:00 AM I wrote 7 stanzas and was going to post the poem as it was then we went for a drive and walk and on route I wrote the final stanza which I think finished the poem purrfectly:-) hugs Jan xx

Lin Lane Date: 7/25/2017 7:57:00 AM Tom will then wear a sad pout, when he and the female felines do without. Excellent rhyming verses, Jan! Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/25/2017 8:03:00 AM Thanks Lin the blog title inspired me and the poem was written in about 5 minutes it just flowed so well lol:-) hugs jan xx

Tim Smith Date: 7/25/2017 7:24:00 AM Ut oh...Tom better hide before he becomes Thomasina Login to Reply Jan Allison Date: 7/25/2017 8:01:00 AM ha haha:-) hugs jan xx