Missed

My tummy started growing, And the sickness came in waves, I knew that I was pregnant, It was very early days. I checked each week's development, Each stage my baby reached, Overfilled with joy, Because this baby was in me. I passed the 12 week milestone, Then shared the news with friends, Having no idea at all, My dream was just about to end. Almost 14 weeks I was, Least that's what I believed, And then the news came at the scan, The news that shattered me. It seems my body tricked me, And for months it hid the truth, So I found it hard to understand, To just accept the news. I had no indication, They say ignorance is bliss, But I'd never heard the notion, A miscarriage could be 'missed'. "You sure you've had no bleeding? And you've not had any pain?" Those words have always haunted me, Time and time again. A rather harsh sonographer, Then said without a care, As she turned the screen to show me, "There is now no baby there!" To her perhaps a day job, Not a loss that broke her heart, But to me it was my baby, And I'd loved him from the start. He wasn't just a group of cells, He would have had a heart, It didn't beat for long, Before the Lord made him depart. But a person is a person, Regardless of their size, A little growing baby, Leaves an imprint on your life, He wasn't here for very long, A moment within time, But I carried him throughout his life, I'll love him now through mine. I never met my baby, But I loved him from the start, A moment in my womb, And now a lifetime in my heart. 18.08.2020