Mirror Image

Thoroughly I believed in your love. In the words you spoke, I found truth. Wanting so to understand the depth. Glancing back I now can see, that your declarations were lies indeed. Love doesn't run its course, to fade away like a cloudy day. Love is ever present, although some may not choose to see. Eternal and immortal, true love will always be. You say love is physical expression, affection and attention. I believe its so much more, in the realm of the spiritual. So yes, I have intimacy problems. That doesn't mean my love is less somehow. It only proves that I need to be loved unconditionally. I always knew that you had limitations. Saying you want to be loved exactly the same way you express it, even though every person is different. Expecting to get what you give. Put like that it doesn't sound unreasonable. I can't say, I failed you. For I did not give up, that was a promise that I lived up to. I feel sad knowing your unfulfilled and unhappy with me. I truly want your happiness, whether that be with or without me. When I look at the bigger picture, you blamed everything on me. You never took any responsibility for hurts you caused me. You fashioned up notions of infidelity to make yourself loathe me. But I believe you know deep in your heart that I have been true and my heart and being was only for you. It must be easier to walk away convincing yourself that I'm a cheat. Your excuse to stop loving me. That's really sad you couldn't own any of our problems. I had some reservations about how our future would be. I quietly questioned and examined your demeanor. I thought it unsafe at times that you didn't work or even have your own apartment. But I overlooked that for the most part. Thinking that you'd pull it together if you really wanted a future for us. I am trying not to cry, because I care so much. But I can't make you happy and you deserve and want a mirror image in a life time partner. Where as I will remain forever alone, you were the only one I would consider to have in my heart. Without you, I will try to live contently however lonely life can be. It was you or nobody else ever. I am resigned to being alone. I'll remember our happy times everyday and they will have to get me through all the solitary days and nights I face the rest of my life. I'll think of your tenderness when I am in despair and fondly recall the love of my life. It will have to suffice.