Mind of Mine

I dread closing my eyes Because when I do, The sane, real world around me dissolves Replaced instead by an inner monster Rising up from the deep dark depths of my mind I make it sound like I am possessed by a devil But indeed my mind isn't short of one Filling me up with raucous laughter In the most inappropriate of situations Threatening to tear down the social image of myself That i have oh so carefully created So i bow my head down In the middle of an ongoing fight or funeral In solemn silence through eyes of an onlooker While I am terribly preoccupied waging a war with mind for control : over myself Not so usually do i win this war of thoughts My mind a more powerful force than i could reckon Before i get interrupted by reality And then this war continues again In the middle of the night When my eyes won't close My mind haunts with memories of the past Unconquerable dreams of the future Poking the carcasses of long dead conversations Rupturing my delicate, unhealed wounds With knives made of guilt, shame and fear So on so forth this saga goes on Until I am left with a battered, ravaged body.