Midnight Thoughts

We wonder through life searching for someone, someone who we can trust, we talk to so many and fall for so few, so why would this happen I thought it was you, we spoke for a while we got close real fast, we talked about the future we talked about the past, I let down my shield and pulled you in close but all’s I did was leave my self-open, open to reject open to pain, I’ve had this before and its happening again, you took all my love and you gave me a little, but then you just left with no reason. I think to myself, it must be me, my choice in girls is bad obviously, I go for the girls, the ones who don’t try, then I learn what I can, they leave and I cry, I spoke to some people and I heard some new rumours, but I didn’t lets that deter me, if you had something to tell me, something to say, I gave you the chances, I asked you to stay, people say you played me and I’m starting to think that too, but I fell for you so what can I do... I have no confidence, although I hide it well, and things like this they get to me, but then I see people, people who need me and it makes me think to myself, why am I scared? Why do I feel weak? People who see me they see this big strong man but that person he’s not me, it takes time to know me, it takes time to read the pages of my life but you did it in such little, I’m not sure how I feel, but I know it’s not good, I will miss you although I don’t think I should, you broke down my walls which I thought nobody could you misused my trust and in the end I am hurting, because it is me that your deserting. You say let’s be friends but I don’t know if I can do it, because truthfully I wanted more, I told you my feelings, I poured out my heart, but the way that you act, did I matter from the start? I think I was a new toy something to play with and honestly I don’t know, my head is twisted and I’m confused again so maybe I just need to go, maybe I’ll be alone but surrounded by friends but will anyone truly know me then? I feel so alone surrounded by people and I thought that was about to change, but instead you just hurt me, you messed with my head, and now my heart bleeds and I don’t know what to do? What am I anymore? Will I miss you? All will be answered all in good time, but for me it a story, and the story is mine.