Mess Of Me

I am a mess Of good intentions Gone wrong I strike matches upon myself To keep others warm And now my whole damn world is on fire I try to put it out The flames get higher I traded truth To be betrayed by liars And silenced my needs While fulfilling their desires The dam breaks And the waters of my sorrow pour free The lake is now full of all the debris The broken pieces Of my life Blown to pieces Like dynamite That I never meant to ignite An accidental suicide The lake will eventually Come to dry As will the tears my eyes have cried I've wasted too much time Swallowing my pride Trying to keep everyone satisfied Pretending I'm alright Waging wars inside my mind I've destroyed myself Along with my physical And mental health I wish I could put my feelings Up on a shelf I've creating my own living hell I have made a mess of me