Mental Conversation

As I look beyond the white walls I slowly lower my head. The pain I feel can not be described into a matter of words. The only thing that I can say is that my heart hurts. I am empty inside...I wish to fly away from this hell. The flames get hotter, but I can not tell. What will this world be? Will it be destroyed? I may have lost it all, and yet I stand tall. Have I fallen from reality? Have I lost my sanity? When the door closes there's no turning back. I do not have time to worry how everyone else is...HOW CAN I HELP YOU WHEN I CAN'T EVEN HELP MYSELF?! I hate change, but it is inevitable. You can never get comfortable in this world...we can get stuck in the past if we do not move forward. Who am I trying to talk to? I'm having a mental debate on what to do. The voices tell me to unleash the seal and reveal what the world fears to see. They think I can not see the blood on the walls...I know if I let go then what I tried so hard to achieve is thrown into the dumpster. Then why do I listen? All they do is blame me, but they can never break me! I'm the one in the boat rowing down the stream. You can not affect me in any way. All that I write is just rambling...what am I even rambling about? I can't even understand myself, but yet I pretend I do. My eyes are filled with hatred, but my heart is filled with love. What will happen when I die? What will happen when I am alive? Save me from this nightmare. Save me from this terror. How come I write something good, but then it goes extremely dark? Am I writing against myself? No ordinary human can understand this? Oh I get it now..you must be my other side...the one that I try to hide. How did you get control? I did not let you go? Yes I am you...and you are me. I am the one you fear when you are sleeping. You delay what can not be avoided. I am the voice in your head. There is no more distortion. Stop playing the fool you are not srupid. I am the one who will bring the chaos to an end. You can not escape, but you will love on. For I am your conscious and you have lost. You think that you can control me? I am the soul I know the path that I choose. I will walk alone and you will not affect me. I will not lose this...I can't lose this..I can n- Remember what you said....change is inevitable.