Melter Man - Ice Cream Gran 10

The Melter Man, the Melter Man, he upsets kids for fun And when they've been to Ice Cream Gran, his fun has just begun He’ll kill their ice creams pronto, like they’ve left them in the sun By melting them to nothing, with his crazy melter gun The Melter Man hides in the trees til Ice Cream Gran arrives His Melter gun is set to full so no ice cream survives So hid away he waits until he hears those tinkling chimes He wears a wicked grin as he anticipates good times The ice cream van appears and with its cheerful tune played loud The Melter Man has plans to make his foster father proud From underneath his coat he pulls his metal-melting gun To melt a whole ice cream van down would make him ‘favourite son’ But what he didn’t know about the owner of this van Was Ice Cream Gran was also known to some as Turbo Gran And on the dashboard of the van a warning light now blinks And Ice Cream Gran knows Melter Man is dumber than he thinks The children stand in line to buy the ice creams they enjoy And Melter Man prepares to upset every girl and boy But then a voice behind when Turbo Gran said, ‘Think again, Any man who upsets children is the worst of men, Put your melter gun away and toodle on your way, Or you’ll ignite my anger and I’ll have to make you pay.’ Unfortunately Turbo Gran was leaning on her frame So Melter Man just grinned and said, ‘I know your claim to fame, But I don’t see a superhero fit to make me scream, Because I never tried it, so I’m not scared of ice cream.’ Turbo Gran said, ‘If you tasted some you might feel fonder For all the children queueing by my ice cream van just yonder.’ Melter Man looked sheepish and his words were not so loud He said his dad said, ‘No ice cream until you make me proud.’ So Turbo Gran spoke to her watch as though it were a phone She said, ‘Hey Nitro Cat please bring out a vanilla cone.’ Soon enough the children by the van all moved aside And Nitro Cat stepped out, an ice cream on his back was tied So that it wouldn't melt he went to Melter Man real quick And sat there until Melter Man could not resist a lick ‘Oh my God, thats gorgeous; can I have another taste? Stopping children eating this was such an awful waste. ‘I’ve heard of Turbo Gran and how you should be long retired And yet you've shown me I’ve been wrong and not a shot was fired ‘So now I know my foster father lied and I’ve been had So first I’m gonna use my melter on my foster dad And then I’m gonna change my life as quickly as I can Tell me, Turbo Gran, where can I buy an ice cream van?’ Turbo Gran said come and serve those eager kids with me Serve them all with ice cream and we’ll see what we will see I’m sure that we can find an ice cream van for summer nights But can you handle radar and are you okay with heights?’ [Other Ice Cream Gran/Turbo Gran stories available via the ‘poems’ link up top]