Meditate to make amends
A constant breeze
from the hole of energy
her death carved out within me
and
Nine hundred and twenty-eight days later, I still
Get choked up when I try to remember not to forget her
and sometimes not to hate her
So
I made her my happy place
A place where I now go 2x a day to meditate
In this place created with an image of her face, a version of her I remember during a period where she exuded inner grace
In a chapter from our life’s story
We sit side by side
Overlooking the stinging meadow at our shared childhood campsite
I now love to meditate because
I get to see her face
Some days that’s enough
today, I touched her hand it felt so real
Like I could feel it in this place
If I could make amends in this space, I created
Which I made with particles of her that now keep me calm
during times I meditate
I can move past the guilt I carry, so I can focus on living and not how it ends
Grief is real.
So I made it my dearest friend
I miss you more than my heart can ever heal or will ever mend
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