Mazes

lately i tend to get lost within myself. my mind has become a maze, and i was never good at mazes. i would start from the end drawing through lines to get to the start because it was frustrating to start from the beginning. is that what i do? do i skip all the edges and skip all the challenges? i used to think everyone loved a challenge but could they love one if that challenge was me? i wonder if i made them try to start from the beginning, meticulously avoiding every dead end, and coming to an finish that provided happiness. but maybe, i made them start from the end, what if i made them half hazardously draw with a broken pen, trying to fix the problem and solve the puzzle as quickly as they could stand it. my mind is a maze i am a series of riddles and puzzles, more times than not i confuse myself. i am the crosswords i could never solve, and the mind games that made my head spin. i’m a walking storm, reaching out for someone to be the eye of me, reaching for someone to calm me down and fix my destruction. and now i’m five years old, sitting in a chair that’s too big with people saying things i don’t understand, and I'm looking at the puzzle in front of me, i’m looking at the maze that makes my eyes burn, and i wonder how someone could stand to keep up with the mind games, or if they just tried to finish them quickly and throw them out and rid themselves of the challenge forever.