Maybe

Why do you push me?
is it because
you know that
I'm already so close
to the edge?
I can only
go so far
before I fall off,
but maybe
you already know that.
Maybe
you want me
to fall,
to be crushed,
to die
on the jagged rocks
below.
Maybe you
want to see
my blood
dripping from
my heart,
bleeding from
my eyes,
just like the tears
you cried
for me.
Or maybe you
don't want
me to fall,
just to be so close
to the edge,
so very close
so that
maybe
you can rescue me.
Maybe
you just want me
to go back
to that place
where
our love exists,
or at least
once existed,
if you even
want to call it
love
at all.
but I won't go
back.
There's no way.
We had nothing but
meaningless words
and lying
hearts but
it wasn't our fault.
It was everything
around us,
inside us,
and even above us
looking down
on us
not meaning
a thing they do
to us
but not knowing
that they're
doing
so much,
which is probably
just like you
right now,
not knowing that
I'm so very close
to the edge,
about to fall off,
to lie on the jagged rocks,
bleeding because you
pushed me
just a little too far.
Maybe you really
don't mean it,
you don't mean a thing
you do to me that
hurts me at all.
Maybe you just
don't care
anymore.
Maybe I'm the one
holding on
to what should be
let go of.
Maybe I don't know
anything anymore.
Maybe
the whole world
is trying
to tell me to
listen,
to understand,
to wake up to
what is going on.
Maybe I just
don't want to
wake up.
Maybe I want
to stay in my
dream world.
It's definitely better
here.
Out there you never know
what to think,
believe,
or who to listen to
and to trust.
Maybe I'm
not cut out to live
in this world.
Maybe I really don't exist.
Maybe YOU don't exist.
Maybe I just made
you up.
You're an excuse
for me.
Maybe there's no one
pushing me but
I'm just walking
willingly,
or maybe even
running
toward the edge,
or maybe
there really is
no edge at all.

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