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Masturbating In Church

my fondest memory of church
had to have been the day that girl from my confirmation class
whom i can’t for the life of me remember the name of now
showed up in a skin tight neon pink dress
which was hiked right up 
inches upon inches above her knee
leaving very little to be desired
but i desired so very much---
i wanted her 
i wanted what any bored, horny, teenage
nonbeliever would,
in such a situation.

and i was lucky enough to have her family sitting right in front of
mine &
every time she got up to sing a hymn
i watched it cling to her hips &
almost as a second skin on her gorgeous body
(that others would say “god” had “given” her),
no matter how distracting those ridiculous songs were
or how bad the singing droned on in the background
my raging ******** was pulsating against my thigh
in my brown corduroy pants, so much so 
that i had to stick my right hand in my front pocket
to keep it at bay &
then it came to me,
like a “miracle” from the “heaven” of all those imbeciles around me---
why was i keeping it at bay?

so with a hymnal in my left hand &
my right hand in my pants
rubbing at my relentless rigidness,
i pretended to mouth the words 
while i fantasized about what she would look like naked &
with all the uniquely naïve filth that’s produced in the teenage mind
(as adult filth is just “experienced filth”)
i massaged myself slow & steady
and as my knees weakened just a bit,
i exploded inside my special church corduroys---
and on that day & that day only,
church had been good for something.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2012




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Date: 2/5/2012 1:15:00 AM
Refreshing in your blatant honesty. After all you was just being a teenager. I haven't got a religious bone in my body so I for one enjoyed this immensely for it's rebellious manner. I have to say more to the point, your words flow so comfortably Karen
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Date: 2/4/2012 4:06:00 AM
O.M.F.G that is so funny.... yeah I remember going to church to hit on the virgin chicks... Dude you just hit my fav list, your a sick man lol......muzz
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Delapruch Avatar
Andrew Delapruch
Date: 2/4/2012 4:33:00 AM
@MurrayMahauariki. lol. much thanks for taking the time to read my work man & thanks for the support/adding to fav's!

Book: Reflection on the Important Things