Marriage Bed

I am fearful and full of dread, As I lay here on our marriage bed, We have had yet another fight, And as yet it is our end of the night. He says he wants to show me he only cares, But it is not love I feel, as I lay there. I say, "No I am to sore and in pain." He moves forward anyways as my tears fall down like rain. I beg and plead and say, "Please no more" But that is not what for me he has in store. I give up as my claims fall on deaf ears, I just lay there in my pool of tears. I know he knows what he is doing, That this is not my choosing. What once was an expression and an act of our lovemaking, Has now become something that he thinks is his right in just taking. The days that I used to crave and hunger for his touch, Have now turned to an act I must endure as such. Even though he knows this is wrong and our fight has really had no end, He believes that in this and this alone our love will transcend. As he is holding me there on that bed, Another world is where I go in my head. He is my husband and I am his wife, I can't believe this has become our life! I lay there numb of spirit and mind, Waiting and waiting for the end of time. I think of all the ways that I can make him pay, But in the end, as usual, I stay!!! This is not the life I bargained for, There in this life has to be more. Why with this one man is it hard for me to walk away? With any other man, I would not stay! Now the time has come that I can take no more, Though the time has not come to settle the score. He begs and pleads for me to stay, He can't bear for our love to go away! I still love him and I know that is sick, But we cannot help who our hearts pick! I can, however, leave him alone, I won't write nor will I phone. His days of cruel treatment and torture so vile, Are long over, there will be no trial! I have become judge, jury, and executioner in this relationship! You can bet there will no more second trips! Time to move on and to heal, I cannot and will not give him an appeal. A new life is what I am forever bound, A new love is what I found. He does not get all of me, For now, he is fine to let me be. Will I ever be able to love again with all my heart? Who knows, but now is the time to start.