March Nightmare

Eyes of an angel, those wondrous eyes of compassion a fairytale told in story books, fiction How did it materialize into reality..magic How can I possibly describe my affection...but I'd rather not I'm only a fool, a stupid fool... Here I am, staring so lost up at the ceiling a paper heart decorated and filled with proud permanent declarations of love How it mocks me so makes me sick yet I can't turn away from its siren song Yes, I can admit, I wish to be anything but lonely without you I want to be with you, yes I really do but what I want merely just fades and slips away I guess it's just eating me alive to know the more I push to see, to be the more I let myself believe there could possibly ever be a 'you and me' the more I realize I don't measure up I'm only a part of a plan plan C, C team, number 3 the last call; the first to fight and fall I should've saw this coming in my crystal ball but ignorance became lovely bliss for I burned down all my red flags Optimistically I guess I just believed there was finally enough to make it...just A triangle, she forged it with her love In love, it wasn't a secret I just chose to ignore it She had no fatal attraction to the skin I'm in yet she wove her web, her silky thread around me a hypnotic cocoon Oh I was aware...still... I fell for her opinionated, calculating mind I fell for the way she pushed my creativity to the surface I fell for her green eyes hazel, the ones I've seen in my dreams the ones I've described in the chronicles of my perfect girl My own eyes commanded desire while my mind desired to hold her intertwined in my comforting arms My heart craved to kiss her lips one more time but in it's place were just excuses of 'maybe next time' My heart craved to be accepted craved a label it may never obtain but all I hear is my departure date makes it difficult for my claim to even be relevant A February disaster grew legs and skipped into a March Nightmare I can't really say I'm surprised but I thought things would be different though I had no idea what I was getting myself into She has someone while I remain a hooded figure in the back of the class She has everything while I only have a pencil and pad to my name March Nightmare... I've become a headache so pathetic, a nine year old again unaware of how to deal with this kind of situation this sense of confusion the craving of biting into forbidden fruit combined with the haunting memory of a melody I refuse to sing four Marches since... March Nightmare... All in all I'm the wreck and I don't know what else to do except listen to Marianas Trench and look for clues say I want her in my head, mutely, voicelessly close my eyes, shield my ears avoid seeing her walk away, disgust plain upon her face avoid the taunting laughter ringing in my ears... Pathetic...pathetic..pathetic.. the only thing more fragile than my confidence...