Jan Allison Poet Couplet

Notes About The Poem

Mail Order Brides - Let the Buyer Beware

Ted hunted high and low when trying to find the perfect wife
She must be subservient and fit in with his mundane life

The Internet looked promising to find a mail order bride,
and soon a special lady could be standing by Ted’s side

The catalogue was full, brides came in all shapes and sizes,
such a variety of colours, each page was filled with huge surprises

Ted’s eyes widened when he saw Svetlana’s pretty face
She had a gorgeous body and her bits were all in the right place

With her long blonde hair and sapphire eyes 
Ted could be the envy of many other guys

Svetlana’s resume said she wanted to marry a foreign man
She was determined to escape from her life in Azerbaijan

Ted contacted a website and said he’d a pay a hefty fee
He wanted to wed Svetlana and he hoped that she’d agree

Ted said he’d pay for Svetlana to visit him in the USA
And if she was suitable they could choose a wedding day

The flight was booked and Ted was getting really excited
He spoke to Svetlana on the phone and hoped they’d be united

At last the big day came and he went to the arrivals hall
Svetlana wasn’t on the flight, oh how Ted’ s face did fall

Suddenly Ted heard someone calling out his name
It couldn’t be Svetlana as her pic was not the same  

This lady was enormous and looked like the back end of a cow
Poor Ted was in a quandary… just what should he do now

Ted went over to her and said there must be some mistake
She said no I am Svetlana, sorry that picture was a fake.

Ted felt so sorry for her and took her to his home
He didn’t want to leave her in the airport on her own

They spent some time together and they got on really well
She was a fabulous cook and Ted’s waistline soon did swell 

Svetlana stayed with Ted and eventually they wed
Ted is really happy now Svetlana shares his bed!


17th February 2017

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Kim Rodrigues February 18, 2017 at 9:52 AM Enjoyed the write! Poor Ted was probably in a fright but food and drink cured him of his ill. He bit the bullet and fell in love :) Jan Allison February 19, 2017 at 2:12 PM I am glad the poem has a happy ending but very different from what 'ted' hoped for:-) hugs Jan xx

Richard Lamoureux February 18, 2017 at 9:05 AM Quite the story. I'm sure there are many that don't end so well. Jan Allison February 19, 2017 at 2:12 PM I'm sure Richard - I wrote a part 2 based on Arthur's commment:-) hugs Jan xx

Eve Roper February 18, 2017 at 12:04 AM Great write, Jan, like always Hugs Eve Jan Allison February 18, 2017 at 4:31 AM Thanks Eve:-) Glad you enjoyed my silly thoughts:-) hugs Jan xx

Paul Callus February 17, 2017 at 11:22 AM Ha ha...but all's well that ends well :) I'm glad your ending took this turn, because all along I had this feeling that Svetlana was going to be a male! We get many of these in Malta...some do get married, others work in night spots. Hugs // paul Jan Allison February 17, 2017 at 11:32 AM I did a follow up poem on the male theme lol Arthur's comment inspired me lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Rhonda Johnson-Saunders February 17, 2017 at 10:15 AM I just saw James' comment below. I'm thinking of the same song...lol. Jan Allison February 17, 2017 at 10:38 AM I must google it:-) hugs Jan xx

Rhonda Johnson-Saunders February 17, 2017 at 10:14 AM How funny, Jan! It reminds me of that song, "If You Want to be Happy for the Rest of Your Life". Love it! Hugs, Rhonda Jan Allison February 17, 2017 at 10:15 AM Thanks Rhonda:-) I have now written part 2 lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Chris Green February 17, 2017 at 8:48 AM Jan, your humor is out of the park good but in this poem, the wonderful humor was overshadowed by your caring heart. I loved the ending of this, that is what a real man would do. Maybe nit marry her but definitely not leave her abandoned at an airport in a foreign land. What is also funny, I have a friend who did exactly this except he went to Russia to meet her, just in case, and they fell in love and he married her and what is really funny...her name was Svetlana. Jan Allison February 17, 2017 at 8:53 AM Wow that is a fascinating story and its great to hear it had a happy ending Chris. I read an article on Russian brides and it is very big business and it inspired the poem- I like the name Svetlana which seemed to go with the theme. Wish I'd had an exotic name like that lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Charmaine Chircop February 17, 2017 at 5:22 AM Iove your poem...Its funny...And put a smile on my face...On the other..these things happen in reality and its very sad.Married men leave a wife and kids for these Bimbos sometimes...Terrible..and On other times these Russian girls have no other way other than sell themselves to strive and survive..What a tragedy.It is so humiliating when a woman is advertised as an object indeed..I did have a laugh with where you went with the story..At least Sven was not a Man :)Ha Jan Allison February 17, 2017 at 5:26 AM I am amazed what you can 'buy' on the web Charma:-( I wish i had gone with the Sven idea as Arthur's comment made me laugh:-) hugs Jan xx

Joanna Daniel February 17, 2017 at 4:35 AM At least he married her, I like that he accepted her the way she was, though initially disappointed, Jan:) a 7:) Jan Allison February 17, 2017 at 5:01 AM Yes the poem has a twist but a happy ending Jo:-) hugs Jan xx

Anne-Lise Andresen February 17, 2017 at 2:44 AM - I understand that he felt cheated ... but love no one can find on a beautiful photo .... - Everything can be bought ... on website ... a sick world - I bet on "old -fashioned love", Jan :) .... as you will find in my poem: - Belissima Amore - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Jan Allison February 17, 2017 at 5:02 AM I will drop by Anne Lise:-) hugs Jan xx

Elizabeth Kinch February 17, 2017 at 2:39 AM Great poem that made me smile ?? Jan Allison February 17, 2017 at 5:02 AM Thanks Elizabeth:-) hugs jan xx

Charlie Smith February 17, 2017 at 12:43 AM Reminds me of that old song "if you wanna be happy for the rest of your life just make an ugly woman your wife". Ugly sure seem to know how to rattle them pots and pans... Jan Allison February 17, 2017 at 5:03 AM I've never heard that before Charlie!:-) hugs Jan xx

Lynn Marie February 16, 2017 at 11:16 PM A fun and happy couplet with terrific detail, I smiled at the name 'Svetlanda', it so suits the photo.:-) blessings, lynn Jan Allison February 17, 2017 at 5:09 AM There are many 'Russian' brides out there I read an article and its very big business ... looks like there is nothing you can't buy on the web if you have the money:-( hugs Jan xx

Arthur Vaso February 16, 2017 at 10:24 PM LOL at least Svetlana wasn't really Sven! Loved this! Jan Allison February 17, 2017 at 9:42 AM Thanks for the inspiration - have written part 2 now lol:-) hugs Jan xx Jan Allison February 17, 2017 at 5:10 AM ha ha ha that would have been hilarious ... wish I'd thought of it for the poem:-( hugs jan xx

Agnes Krampe February 16, 2017 at 9:57 PM Fun poem, Jan - I am glad you gave it a happy ending. I think the reality is not always so kind. Jan Allison February 17, 2017 at 5:12 AM I think people get scammed Agnes and it costs them a great deal and that's not just financially but emotionally too:-(Some just want a meal ticket and a visa and then dump the poor guy:-( hugs Jan xx

Elijah Johnson February 16, 2017 at 8:23 PM Looks are only skin deep. Fun poem. Does that stuff really happen? Jan Allison February 17, 2017 at 5:12 AM Mail order brides are for real I am not sure if this scenario ever happened though:-) hugs Jan xx

Andrea Dietrich February 16, 2017 at 7:29 PM hhahaha. The liar ended up living the good life!! I sure like how you ended it , Jan!! Jan Allison February 17, 2017 at 5:15 AM I had fun with this I started the poem in the morning and took time to write it as I was busy in the day but it was worth the effort lol:-) hugs Jan xx

Tim Smith February 16, 2017 at 6:43 PM This is good Jan...It is a big industry used mainly by egomaniacs who true colours shine when on a date. A fav Jan Allison February 16, 2017 at 6:46 PM So true Tim - I wonder if they come with a money back guarantee if you are not completely satisfied lol lol:-) hugs jan xx

Frederic Parker February 16, 2017 at 6:39 PM What some men will do boggles my mind... Jan Allison February 16, 2017 at 6:44 PM It's quite amazing what you can actually buy on the web Frederic!:-( hugs Jan xxx